meenah and karkat’s summer nights

because marchingstuck continues to be the catchall for ridiculousness

taz: you know
taz: what i love best
taz: about the idea
taz: that meenah and karkat had a thing
taz: was the idea that meenah
taz: one summer
taz: took a look at karkat vantas
taz: and was like
taz: whoa
taz: hunk
taz: imma get me summa dis
shelby: sjdhfshfdshf
shelby: and is
shelby: shocked to find he is 15 
shelby: all her friends are like
shelby: he looks like he is 12.
taz: later on she’s probably like
taz: him talking about how his dad grounds him might have tipped me off
shelby: sjkdhfksdfsdf
taz: for the rest
taz: meenah is also
taz: mentally 15 
shelby: yeah
shelby: she is
shelby: not mature
shelby: and cool
shelby: even though karkat thinks she is
shelby: so mature
shelby: and cool
taz: she like
taz: draws rude words in the sand
taz: and he’s all
shelby: karkat’s like I LIKE YOUR MOXIE.
shelby: WOW.
shelby: WHAT A WOMAN.
taz: cry
taz: ing
shelby: hes being
shelby: rebellious
taz: yes
shelby: maybe he’ll get his lip pierced
shelby: yeah
shelby: that would be so badass
taz: she gives him
taz: a sharpie tattoo
shelby: what if
shelby: she tried to pierce his ear
taz: DA CRAB!!!! on his shoulder
taz: yes
shelby: and he flipped out
taz: she does
taz: with like
taz: a needle
taz: and some listerine
shelby: karkat “no pain tolerance” vantas
taz: she’s like
shelby: he was trying to be cool
taz: its not even in yet nubby
taz: he is
taz: unconscious
taz: he has fainted
shelby: hes like sobbing
shelby: yes
shelby: he’s like
shelby: breaks into sweats
taz: she’s like
taz: lame
taz: then gives him an arm burn
shelby: this kills the man
taz: when he comes to
taz: she’s like
taz: my friend says i have to say sorry for tryin to pierce your ear with a needle
taz: she texted
taz: aranea
shelby: kjhjkhkfjhsdf
shelby: she had
shelby: an apple
shelby: and a needle
taz: crying
taz: then she shows him the txt
taz: he’s like
taz: is this really 8 pages
taz: she’s like
taz: yep
shelby: kjhkjhkjhkh
taz: karkat is mostly worried about
taz: possibly losing his virginity and having the school nurse look at him and know
shelby: jhkjhjksdf
taz: and he will have to fill out a survey and get x-rayed
taz: he does not realize
taz: meenah has never had sex
taz: and is
taz: too uncool to
shelby: yes meenah is
shelby: such a virgin
taz: yes
taz: meenah’s like
taz: what if i see junk this time around
taz: yeah
taz: go meenah
taz: you’re growin up kid
shelby: high fives 2 self
taz: she then high fives herself
shelby: who would meenah’s first time be with
shelby: roxy
taz: yes
taz: crying
taz: what if she’s like
taz: karkat whats your job
taz: what do you play
taz: is it electric
taz: is that like a guitar
taz: …. YEAH.
shelby: soooo coool
taz: crying
shelby: wow just
shelby: time to listen to summer nights again
taz: me
taz: too
taz: what if
taz: crabdad took himn
taz: to the next town’s beach away from his friends
shelby: yes
taz: i met a troll crazy 4 me
shelby: like karkat was really mad
shelby: and was sulking under a towel on the beach
taz: T3LL M3 MOR3 T3LL M3 MOR3 L1K3 D1D SH3 H4V3 4 C4R
shelby: and meenah was like “who is this stud”
taz: meenah was like
taz: omg comb time
taz: yeah meenah you can do this
taz: 3 < was it love at first sight
shelby: cronus is like
shelby: did he put up a fight
taz: yes
taz: we stayed out till ten o’clock
taz: they totally did
shelby: john is like
shelby: she sounds like a drag.
taz: inonhiionh
taz: john
taz: was such a dick about it
shelby: he is so mad
shelby: karkat dated the batterwitch
taz: ha he got frondly down in the sand
taz: (holding hands)
shelby: bmghjghjg
taz: who wants meenah
taz: to get them
taz: a friend
shelby: i dont know
shelby: eridan probably wants karkat to get him a friend
taz: crying
shelby: how are we
shelby: so perfect at shipping
taz: i
taz: know
taz: i’m just
taz: not over
taz: any aspect
taz: of that beautiful summer romance
shelby: they really just spent the whole time eating pizza
shelby: and complaining about their asshole friends
taz: they were like
taz: we have such a solid relationship we both like pineapple on pizza
taz: this becomes so much funnier
shelby: screams
taz: karkat sings this
taz: after
taz: summer is over
shelby: karkat
shelby: has sung this
shelby: about
taz: every
shelby: like everyone
taz: one
taz: DO YOU
shelby: jhjkhkjSDH\
shelby: john is like
shelby: well.
shelby: i totally dated someone too this summer.
shelby: you wouldn’t know her though.
taz: yes
taz: john was like
taz: i had
taz: a perfect summer romance.
shelby: i wish you could meet my girlfriend
shelby: but you can’t.
shelby: because she lives in canada.
taz: vriska is like
taz: john we spent the summer trying to make the world’s biggest s’more
shelby: Omg who is this 8itch????????
shelby: I h8 her already.
taz: john’s like (shhh vriska i told you please just go along with this.)
taz: You spent the whole summer with me!!!!!!!! 8ut the whole time you were actually with someone else?
shelby: sdfbsfbsfnsd
shelby: john and vriska
shelby: went camping
taz: yes
shelby: they were like
shelby: Yeah! Wilderness hike!
taz: jade went to science camp
shelby: one day later
shelby: they were like
shelby: this sucks!!!
taz: crying
taz: forever
shelby: i hate the great outdoors!
shelby: I know!
shelby: that creek won’t stop babbling!
taz: Let’s dam it!
taz: so they
shelby: shut the fuck up, creek!
taz: dam
taz: the creek
shelby: kshdfjshfd
taz: and get bit
taz: by a beaver
shelby: sdhfjkhsfd
shelby: Wow.
shelby: Awesome.
taz: john mopes so hard
taz: all
taz: karkat had a sensual summer as i got bit by beavers.
taz: i bet he touched boobs.
taz: i mean, i touch boobs all the time, but that’s because vriska gets itchy right underneath her bra strap.
shelby: its not the same.
shelby: john is like
shelby: hilariously mad that karkat had a love affair
taz: he is
taz: just like
taz: i guess i’m jealous that karkat is getting experienced.
shelby: yeah, leaving me behind, what the hell buddy.
taz: ha ha.
shelby: weren’t we supposed to be in this together. ha.
taz: ha.
taz: karkat was busy getting kissed on the eyebrow all OH MY GOD!!!! WHAT IF I HAVE TO HAVE AN ORGASM?
shelby: sdjfhjHDFJKH
taz: meanwhile meenah
taz: is txting aranea
taz: yo wheres first base
shelby: ksjdhfjsfh
taz: no shut it wikipedia brown i want this in shrimple sentences
taz: maybe
taz: that was the summer
taz: jack had like
taz: mono
taz: so no band camp
shelby: band camp is only for 2 weeks at the end of summer
shelby: so it doesnt matter
shelby: all these stories woul dbe
shelby: told at band camps
taz: crying
taz: so
taz: karkat
taz: comes to band camp
taz: a man
taz: jack’s all
taz: thats nice glad you had sex with a hot older babe didnt think you had it in you
taz: CRY
taz: ING
shelby: jack’s like
shelby: ok moving on
taz: that night
taz: jack txts the other crew all
taz: is xrayed some sex move i aint been told about
shelby: sdmnfsmdnfsdmmsnfd
shelby: hdfsjkf
taz: Yes!
taz: shut up clubs
shelby: shdfjdsgfsfgd]
shelby: im gonna die
shelby: how is marchingstuck always perfect
taz: I
taz: KNOW
taz: i just
taz: cronus
taz: never lets
taz: the issue drop
shelby: hes like
taz: every time a school bus passes he’s like
shelby: oh i see youll fuck a 6 svweep old but not me i see hovw it is
taz: Hey girl. Look alivwe.
shelby: sdhjfdfh
shelby: kankri’s like
shelby: hold on now
taz: meenah’s disgusting sexuality is perfectly ok
shelby: jhsdfsf
taz: we have to tolerate her completely awful proclivities
shelby: skjdhfFHh
taz: and get her the help she needs
taz: and not let her within one hundred feet of a playground
shelby: meenah is going to kill them all
taz: yes
shelby: i hope
shelby: meenah goes to karkat’s wedding
taz: me
taz: too
shelby: shes like
taz: what if
shelby: good for you kid
taz: they go to her college to play for some reason
taz: and it’s
taz: a beautiful reunion
taz: and john’s like
taz: hiss
shelby: omg
shelby: jkdhsfjkhsfd
shelby: john
taz: meenah’s all hey its nubby and he grew up!! yo nubz!!!
shelby: i forgot john and meenah actually interacted in canon
taz: ME
taz: TOO
shelby: and he
shelby: talked abut ghosts
taz: I
shelby: for like a whole paragraph
taz: KNOW
shelby: nerd
taz: yes
taz: what if
taz: she dislikes john
taz: at first sight
taz: and is like
taz: whatever nerd me and nubby are talking
shelby: john is like
shelby: whatever. i don’t care.
taz: karkat is kind of TEE HEE HEE
shelby: hkjhh
shelby: even after karkat and john are dating
taz: yes
taz: karkat
taz: will always be
shelby: john gets all mad
taz: kind of
taz: tee hee hee
shelby: HEE HEEE
shelby: what the fuck?
taz: karkat dances with meenah at his wedding
shelby: she will always be taller than him
taz: dude she came
taz: in a tuxedo t-shirt
taz: and emo pants
shelby: god when karkat gets married she is like 24 
taz: yes
shelby: laughs
taz: she is still
taz: a loser
shelby: forever
shelby: she is like
shelby: im takin a gap year
taz: she is like yeah you’re the one that got aweigh
taz: he’s like
shelby: haha yeah p badass
taz: crying
taz: i forgot that
taz: they spent the summer
taz: selling sticks on ebay
shelby: jlkjlkjlkjj
shelby: oh my god
shelby: they
shelby: combed the beach
taz: WITH
shelby: with metal detectors
taz: METAL
shelby: karkat was like
taz: OK?
taz: she’s like one day im gonna be rich as shit
shelby: she is already rich
taz: yes
taz: she just wants
taz: more money
taz: i just
taz: meenah came to her infant ex boyfriend’s wedding
taz: that’s adorable
shelby: he
shelby: invited her
taz: she brought aranea as her date
shelby: yes
shelby: vriska was like
shelby: omg
shelby: who’s this douchebag
shelby: w8 thats my weird cousin
taz: yes
taz: vriska’s like
taz: omg cousin aranea
taz: meenah
taz: just
taz: legit counts
taz: summer lovin karkat
taz: as
taz: totally a relationship
shelby: it
shelby: totally
shelby: counts
shelby: ok
taz: aranea is like
taz: you two ‘dated’ for like four weeks
shelby: still counts
taz: john is relieved
taz: when he works out
taz: that they never got anywhere
taz: and that karkat never saw a boob
shelby: he’s like
shelby: oh haha. that’s great.
taz: he was kind of
taz: hateimagining
taz: karkat boob touching
taz: and then imaginary meenah being all
taz: we should get married.
shelby: hkjhjh
taz: we are so funny
taz: i am so glae
shelby: im so glae too
taz: good

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