shelby: UU is like
shelby: oh if it woUldnt be too mUch troUble, dirk, could yoU please draw yoU and yoUr friends in a vicious foUrway quadrant-flipping orgy? UuU that woUld be sooooo cUte!
shelby: we coUld do an art trade!
taz: Dirk’s just like You know what, sure.
taz: the next day
taz: uu is sobbing
taz: on the couch
taz: how could he do this
taz: the wrong people
taz: are kissing
- shelby: D--> Hey I just met you
- shelby: D--> And this is crazy
- taz: D --> I shot your husband
- taz: D --> Call me maybe
imo the only good way to have john and karkat doing sex is when somebody’s wiener is in peril
taz: JOHN, PLEASE SET ME SOME BOUNDARIES.
taz: all four edges of the bed. the rest of the room is now… lava.
shelby: gjhgfdsjhgsdfg
shelby: best possible
shelby: response
taz: karkat is too busy hitting him
shelby: BOUNDARIES: DO NOT BEND MY WEINER.
shelby: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
shelby: can do.
shelby: or… can i?
taz: it’s okay, karkat, i’m not even water nation!
shelby: sdhfjksdhfskdjhdsjkdsf
shelby: they
shelby: watched
shelby: avatar
shelby: that week
taz: OH MY GOD.
taz: JUST GET OUT.
(Source: pepperbreath)
WE’RE TERRIBLE…
a continuation of my thoughts yesterday about fandom’s fixation on sad nepeta/karkat

eridan in an elegant ladies pantsuit for taz.
shelby: he has the weirdest boner
taz: so does she
shelby: then they erotically cyber
taz: they cyberpunk cyber
shelby: how do you cyberpunk cyber
taz: you obviously pretend they are jacked into the ‘system’
shelby: hsdfkjdshfksjdf
taz: the sexy hacker wwalked into the bar in his elegant ladies pantsuit a cold sneer appeared on his aristocrabic mouth he wwas surely a troll a genius and taste and cyberpunk
shelby: HDKJHDSFJHFSKJDFHD
taz: The technowizard sidled up to the troll in the disarmingly elegant ladies’ pantsuit. “You’ve never even seen the first Matrix film, have you,” she murmured in his ear.
shelby: CRYING FOREVER
taz: “is it on netflix” wwhispered the sexy hacker
taz: “Probably.”
shelby: oh my god theyre perfect
#two people who are hate married #two people who will cyber from opposite ends of the couch #two people who will watch the matrix on netflix #as eridan cooks quinoa #or whatever the fuck
o t p
just for you, anon, terezi/gamzee/karkat team shower chat logs
technically nsfw but not really hahaha
so this evening i had a dream that was a murderstuck fanfiction????????
shelby: okay so
shelby: i was on the meteor with the trolls and kids
shelby: i think i was supposed to be rose?
shelby: because she wasnt there
shelby: but anyways it had been like 3 years
shelby: and then like
shelby: dave showed up
shelby: WITH TEREZI’S HEAD
shelby: AND WAS LIKE
shelby: TEREZI GOT MURDERED
shelby: idk if
shelby: gamzee is really all that good for him but
me: i dont know that
me: yeah
shelby: we’ll see
shelby: i could be wrong
me: maybe he’ll break out the horn pile
me: and pap his face in wavering computer light
shelby: we dont have that much indication of what
shelby: sober but pacified gamzee is like
me: and it will be diamonds everywhere
me: gamzee’s sober, dulcet tones like that of the old spice man
shelby: hFJHDkjsdhf
me: if he were also a juggalo
shelby: cry
shelby: ing
shelby: sensual
shelby: piling
me: im laughing so hard oh my god
shelby: just
shelby: go
shelby: cry on gamzee’s tshirt
me: look at your man my main motherfucker
me: LOOK AT ME
shelby: god that still makes me feel a thing how when sollux died karkat immediately was all clingy on gamzee
shelby: HE NEEDS…A MOIRAIL
me: go d
(Source: past-crowry)
- shelby: hey were banging
- shelby: a lot
- shelby: as the holy book says
- shelby: yiff yiff!
- shelby: Disciple 6:9
- taz: yiff yiff.... again!!!
- taz: Disciple 6:10
- taz: ps 69 is a sexual purrsition
- taz: Disciple 6:11
- ONE ME AND THE SUFFERER DID MOTHERFUCKAS
- taz: Disciple 6:12
- taz: i hope my mom in law isnt reading this
- taz: Disciple 6:13
- shelby: csdfsdfsjkfhsfsdfsdf
- taz: (she is)
taz: john comes up with gross nicknames all the time
taz: moist towelette
taz: my dollar hotdog
shelby: that sounds more like a name for a dong
taz: no, dave.
shelby: sdhfkjsdfhsd
taz: only dave and terezi name body parts
shelby: really
shelby: stupid
shelby: names
shelby: like
shelby: TH3 B1G K4HUN4
taz: that’s her butt
shelby: yes.
taz: dave’s dick is men’s #1 sex fear
shelby: hksjdfhksjdfhsfd
taz: terezi’s breasts are like
taz: “seattle”
taz: and
taz: “flipper”
taz: they forget all these names
taz: right after naming them
shelby: they are
shelby: “cute”
shelby: john just called karkat’s dick “little buddy” once and got kicked in the nose
shelby: I KNOW
taz: LITTLE BUDDY
taz: LITTLE BUDDY
taz: LIKE
taz: TALKING TO
taz: A SCARED ANIMAL
shelby: it was
shelby: the most
taz: hey there, little fella!
shelby: unsexy thing
shelby: anyone
shelby: has ever
shelby: done
taz: karkat was just like OUT
shelby: GOODBYE
taz: you don’t have to be afraid of me, tiny buddy!
taz: I DIVORCE YOU
shelby: hjsdfjksdhs
shelby: then he kneed john in the windpipe
shelby: and erotic activities
shelby: were postponed
taz: for a day
shelby: due to bad behavior
taz: CRYING
taz: THIS IS JOHN. LOOK AT HIS FACE. HE HAS BAD BEHAVIOUR.
taz: why did you tag it like this on facebook?
shelby: jkHDJhjkshksahakjhajdahssd
taz: and resulted in the immortal line
taz: MY JUNK IS NOT YOUR BUDDY.
- shelby: as said the prophet naruto
- shelby: believe
- shelby: it
- taz: ALdisnad98san
- taz: Asdoiand89a
- taz: aod9shads
- taz: FUCK YOU
shelby: NO I AM EVEN THINKING ABOUT
shelby: BETA SESSION MOM AND BRO DYING
shelby: WHAT IF THEY LOVED EACH OTHER 5EVER
taz: OH MY GOD
taz: OH MY GOD
shelby: I
shelby: KNOW
taz: she keeps
taz: leaving him
taz: texts all
taz: dirk i met a HOTTY
taz: u gotta meet this dud srsly
taz: *dude
taz: *not a dud
taz: *dad thoguh man is a DILF
shelby: ohh my goodddd
shelby: UGH I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY EQUIPPED
shelby: TO HANDLE THIS
taz: she was like I WLIL SHARE
shelby: and then
shelby: they did
taz: yes
shelby: and john was like what.
shelby: no jk they all just died
taz: sob
taz: MOM
taz: WANTS TO KNOW
taz: WHY DIRK
taz: DOESN’T
taz: TEXT
taz: HER
taz: BACK
shelby: OOAOHDASJKASHDHAS
shelby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
shelby: holy shit
shelby: that’s the saddest thing that ever got said
Anonymous asked: shelby i have a gamzee/terezi question!!! i really enjoy how you guys interpret them, but i can't help but notice that everything you've done for them has been from terezi's pov! obviously i understand why this is; terezi is a lot more relatable for the audience, for one thing, and her thoughts and feelings on this matter are arguably more interesting. but as a result, i don't think i understand why gamzee hates terezi as much as i understand why she hates him? care to elaborate, maybe?
I’LL LET TAZ TAKE THIS ONE PCHOOO
taz: terezi has patronized gamzee since forever
taz: and gamzee arguably considers her one of the smartest trolls
shelby: mhmm
taz: except that gamzee considers gamzee the smartest troll
shelby: hahaa
shelby: yes
shelby: and he very clearly IN CANON enjoys messing with her head
taz: yes
taz: he spent a long time very in-depth messing with her head!
taz: and in last hearing she is the only one trying to figure out what’s going on in his brain
taz: and the thing is she gets pretty close
taz: but she gets it wrong
taz: and he starts to get thoroughly interested in the fact that she’s trying to poke around in his psyche
taz: but he also resents her for a lot of shit, and one of those is that he thinks she’s bad for karkat
taz: she thinks he’s bad for karkat
taz: Modern Clusterfuck
shelby: YES. yes.
taz: ALSO HE THINKS GIRLS WITH NO BOOBS ARE HOT



