shelby: UU is like
shelby: oh if it woUldnt be too mUch troUble, dirk, could yoU please draw yoU and yoUr friends in a vicious foUrway quadrant-flipping orgy? UuU that woUld be sooooo cUte!
shelby: we coUld do an art trade!
taz: Dirk’s just like You know what, sure.
taz: the next day
taz: uu is sobbing
taz: on the couch
taz: how could he do this
taz: the wrong people
taz: are kissing

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bobies:

imo the only good way to have john and karkat doing sex is when somebody’s wiener is in peril

taz: JOHN, PLEASE SET ME SOME BOUNDARIES.
taz: all four edges of the bed. the rest of the room is now… lava.
shelby: gjhgfdsjhgsdfg
shelby: best possible
shelby: response
taz: karkat is too busy hitting him
shelby: BOUNDARIES: DO NOT BEND MY WEINER.
shelby: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD.
shelby: can do.
shelby: or… can i?
taz: it’s okay, karkat, i’m not even water nation!
shelby: sdhfjksdhfskdjhdsjkdsf
shelby: they
shelby: watched
shelby: avatar
shelby: that week
taz: OH MY GOD.
taz: JUST GET OUT.

(Source: pepperbreath)

WE’RE TERRIBLE…

a continuation of my thoughts yesterday about fandom’s fixation on sad nepeta/karkat 

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just for you, anon, terezi/gamzee/karkat team shower chat logs

technically nsfw but not really hahaha

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so this evening i had a dream that was a murderstuck fanfiction????????

shelby: okay so
shelby: i was on the meteor with the trolls and kids
shelby: i think i was supposed to be rose?
shelby: because she wasnt there
shelby: but anyways it had been like 3 years
shelby: and then like
shelby: dave showed up
shelby: WITH TEREZI’S HEAD
shelby: AND WAS LIKE
shelby: TEREZI GOT MURDERED

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crowry:

shelby: idk if

shelby: gamzee is really all that good for him but

me: i dont know that 

me: yeah

shelby: we’ll see

shelby: i could be wrong

me: maybe he’ll break out the horn pile

me: and pap his face in wavering computer light

shelby: we dont have that much indication of what

shelby: sober but pacified gamzee is like

me: and it will be diamonds everywhere

me: gamzee’s sober, dulcet tones like that of the old spice man

shelby: hFJHDkjsdhf

me: if he were also a juggalo

shelby: cry

shelby: ing

shelby: sensual

shelby: piling 

me: im laughing so hard oh my god

shelby: just

shelby: go

shelby: cry on gamzee’s tshirt

me: look at your man my main motherfucker

me: LOOK AT ME

shelby: god that still makes me feel a thing how when sollux died karkat immediately was all clingy on gamzee

shelby: HE NEEDS…A MOIRAIL 

me: go d

(Source: past-crowry)

taz: john comes up with gross nicknames all the time
taz: moist towelette
taz: my dollar hotdog
shelby: that sounds more like a name for a dong
taz: no, dave.
shelby: sdhfkjsdfhsd
taz: only dave and terezi name body parts
shelby: really
shelby: stupid
shelby: names
shelby: like
shelby: TH3 B1G K4HUN4 
taz: that’s her butt
shelby: yes.
taz: dave’s dick is men’s #1 sex fear
shelby: hksjdfhksjdfhsfd
taz: terezi’s breasts are like
taz: “seattle”
taz: and
taz: “flipper”
taz: they forget all these names
taz: right after naming them
shelby: they are
shelby: “cute”
shelby: john just called karkat’s dick “little buddy” once and got kicked in the nose
shelby: I KNOW
taz: LITTLE BUDDY
taz: LITTLE BUDDY
taz: LIKE
taz: TALKING TO
taz: A SCARED ANIMAL
shelby: it was
shelby: the most
taz: hey there, little fella!
shelby: unsexy thing
shelby: anyone
shelby: has ever
shelby: done
taz: karkat was just like OUT
shelby: GOODBYE
taz: you don’t have to be afraid of me, tiny buddy!
taz: I DIVORCE YOU
shelby: hjsdfjksdhs
shelby: then he kneed john in the windpipe
shelby: and erotic activities
shelby: were postponed
taz: for a day
shelby: due to bad behavior
taz: CRYING
taz: THIS IS JOHN. LOOK AT HIS FACE. HE HAS BAD BEHAVIOUR.
taz: why did you tag it like this on facebook?
shelby: jkHDJhjkshksahakjhajdahssd
taz: and resulted in the immortal line
taz: MY JUNK IS NOT YOUR BUDDY.

shelby: NO I AM EVEN THINKING ABOUT
shelby: BETA SESSION MOM AND BRO DYING
shelby: WHAT IF THEY LOVED EACH OTHER 5EVER
taz: OH MY GOD
taz: OH MY GOD
shelby: I
shelby: KNOW
taz: she keeps
taz: leaving him
taz: texts all
taz: dirk i met a HOTTY
taz: u gotta meet this dud srsly
taz: *dude
taz: *not a dud
taz: *dad thoguh man is a DILF
shelby: ohh my goodddd
shelby: UGH I AM NOT EMOTIONALLY EQUIPPED
shelby: TO HANDLE THIS
taz: she was like I WLIL SHARE
shelby: and then
shelby: they did
taz: yes
shelby: and john was like what.
shelby: no jk they all just died
taz: sob
taz: MOM
taz: WANTS TO KNOW
taz: WHY DIRK
taz: DOESN’T
taz: TEXT
taz: HER
taz: BACK
shelby: OOAOHDASJKASHDHAS
shelby: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
shelby: holy shit
shelby: that’s the saddest thing that ever got said

Anonymous asked: shelby i have a gamzee/terezi question!!! i really enjoy how you guys interpret them, but i can't help but notice that everything you've done for them has been from terezi's pov! obviously i understand why this is; terezi is a lot more relatable for the audience, for one thing, and her thoughts and feelings on this matter are arguably more interesting. but as a result, i don't think i understand why gamzee hates terezi as much as i understand why she hates him? care to elaborate, maybe?

I’LL LET TAZ TAKE THIS ONE PCHOOO

taz: terezi has patronized gamzee since forever
taz: and gamzee arguably considers her one of the smartest trolls
shelby: mhmm
taz: except that gamzee considers gamzee the smartest troll
shelby: hahaa
shelby: yes
shelby: and he very clearly IN CANON enjoys messing with her head
taz: yes
taz: he spent a long time very in-depth messing with her head!
taz: and in last hearing she is the only one trying to figure out what’s going on in his brain
taz: and the thing is she gets pretty close
taz: but she gets it wrong
taz: and he starts to get thoroughly interested in the fact that she’s trying to poke around in his psyche
taz: but he also resents her for a lot of shit, and one of those is that he thinks she’s bad for karkat
taz: she thinks he’s bad for karkat
taz: Modern Clusterfuck
shelby: YES. yes.

taz: ALSO HE THINKS GIRLS WITH NO BOOBS ARE HOT